Posted July 30, 2001 06:15 | Category: Lists | #
"Shit Happens" around the world...
SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS WORLD RELIGIONS
| TAOISM | Shit happens. |
|---|---|
| CONFUCIANISM | Confucius say, "shit happens." |
| BUDDHISM | If shit happens, it isn't really shit. |
| ZEN | What is the sound of shit happening? |
| HINDUISM | This shit happened before. |
| ISLAM | If shit happens, it's the Will of Allah. |
| When shit happens, kill Salman Rushdie. | |
| If shit happens, kill the person(s) responsible. | |
| PROTESTANTISM | Let shit happen to someone else. |
| If shit happens, it happens to someone else. | |
| CATHOLICISM | If shit happens, you deserved it. |
| JUDAISM | Why does shit always happen to US? |
| REFORM JUDAISM | Got any Kaopectate? |
| EXISTENTIALISM | Shit doesn't happen; shit is. |
| JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES | No shit happens until Armaggedon. |
| SECULAR HUMANISM | Shit evolves. |
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE | When shit doesn't happen, don't call a doctor--pray. |
SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS OPERATING SYSTEMS
| Unix | Shit Happened. Core dumped. |
|---|---|
| Macintosh | [Icon of Shit] Shit Happened ID = 02 [Disabled Resume Button] [Enabled Restart Button] |
| MS-DOS | Shit! |
SHIT HAPPENS IN VARIOUS PEOPLE
| Ronald Reagan | I don't recall if shit happed |
|---|---|
| Nancy Reagan | Just say shit happend |
| Geoge Bush | Read my lips, Shit happened, this brown little one |
| M.L.King | I have a shit |
| J.F. Kennedy | Ich bin ein Scheisser |
| Aristole | I am shit. But I know I am shit |
| Nietzsche | If shit never happened, men will creat shit |
| Galileo | They say shit never happened. But shit is still happening |
| Pascal | We are just shit. But we are thinking shit |
| Descartes | I shit therefore I am |
| Einstein | God never play shit |
| Heisenberg | The more accurately we observe when shit happened the less accurately we observe how big the shit happened |
| Schrodinger | There's 50% chance shit happened. And 50% chance it didn't |
| Russel | 90% of everything is shit |
| Gagarin | Shit was blue |
| Armstrong | This is just a little shit. But this is a great shit of mankind |
| Bart Simpson | I will not say 'Shit Happened' in the class |
| Al Bundy | This is shit. This is shit when you get married and drop the shit on the ground. |
| HAL | Dave, I'm in Deep Shit |
| Dr. Chandra, will I shit? | |
| Dave | Oh my god! It's full of shit! |
| Obi Wan | Use your shit, Luke |
| Marty Mcfly | Don't ever never call me shit |
| Backaroo Banzai | No matter where shit happens, there you are |
| Gremlins | Don't shit after 12 o'clock |
| Jessica Rabbit | I'm not shit. I'm just drawn that way |
| Robocop | Please stay out of deep shit |
| Micheal Valentine Smith | Shit groks |
| 1st Law of Robotics | Robotics should not shit or let shit come to happen. |
| Hari Seldon | Each shit is random. But mob of shit is predicable |
| God | Holy Shit! |
Credits
This is a compilation of messages posted to rec.humor and rec.humor.funny. Listed below are the contributors:
Sorry, posting new comments is disabled at this time. Please email me instead.
Last updated: 09/19/2007 William R. Ward, bill@wards.net