http://bill.wards.net/blosxom Bill Ward's Blog, powered by Blosxom (All - Humor) en http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#gift <blockquote><p> A young man wanted to buy a pair of gloves for his sweetheart's birthday. He went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available, and asked to have them gift wrapped and delivered with a note. While wrapping the gloves, the salesclerk accidentally mixed up an order and sent a pair of panties instead. Here's the note the young man wrote to his sweetheart. </p></blockquote> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/quick/gift.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#feynman <p>Since Caltech has an honor system most exams tend to be take home and open book. The instructor for the class will write any special directions at the top of the exam. For a freshman physics exam one year the instructions read:</p> <p style="text-align:center;font-size:14pt"> You have 3 hours. <br /> You may use your class notes and Feynman. </p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/story/feynman.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#prostitute-lawsuit <p>One evening after attending the theatre, two cowboys were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well-dressed and attractive lady just ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, &quot;I'd give $50 to spend the night with that woman.&quot; To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and, turning around, said, &quot;I'll take you up on that.&quot; She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice so after bidding his companion adieu, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment where they immediately went to bed.</p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/story/prostitute-lawsuit.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#musician-jokes <p>Some groaners about musicians...</p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/quick/musician-jokes.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#twelve-days-of-microsoft <p><cite>by Gil Glass</cite><br /> (trust me, it's singable)</p> <p>On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...</p> <blockquote><p>Windows 95 for my PC</p></blockquote> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/christmas/twelve-days-of-microsoft.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#coyote-v-acme <p><strong>Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff v Acme Company, Defendant</strong></p> <p><strong>Opening Statement of Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/television/coyote-v-acme.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#pc-xmas <p>'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...<br /> How to live in a world that's politically correct?<br /> His workers no longer would answer to &quot;Elves&quot;.<br /> &quot;Vertically Challenged&quot; they were calling themselves.<br /> And labor conditions at the north pole<br /> Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.</p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/christmas/pc-xmas.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#gazebo_joke <p><cite>A hilarious tale of Dungeons and Dragons...</cite></p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/story/gazebo_joke.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#one-liners <p><cite>Just an assortment of one-line jokes...</cite></p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/quick/one-liners.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p> http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/2001/07/30#star-trek-drinking-game <p><cite>Star Trek: The Next Generation had some great things about it, but it also could be a bit predictable...</cite></p> <p><a href="http://bill.wards.net/blosxom/humor/television/star-trek-drinking-game.html?seemore=y" class="seemore">[more]</a></p>