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UNIX Knows More Than You Think

Posted July 30, 2001 06:15 | Category: Geek Jokes | #

Here are some commands you can try to prove this fact:

% rm Quayle-brain
rm: Quayle-brain nonexistent

% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% "How would you rate Saddam Hussein's state of insanity?
Unmatched ".

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% cat mbox | turn-on-water
turn-on-water: Command not found.
Broken pipe

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is Nutra-Sweet?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

NOTE

The commands at the % prompt are for the C-shell.
The commands at the $ prompt are for the Bourne shell.
If you don't understand any of this, don't feel bad.. it just means that you're not a computer nerd.

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Last updated: 09/19/2007 William R. Ward, bill@wards.net